Wow! It just dawned on me that I haven’t written anything in a while. (Sorry! I know you all live and breathe by every word I write. ) 🙂 Anyway, I was recently thinking about a few things. I guess that is the problem, I have too many things on my mind. My family and I are planning a move, I am working extra shifts because people at work quit and someone has to pick up the slack, and many other things are also going on. And just as it dawned on me that I haven’t posted anything lately it dawned on me that I have been so focused on life that I forgot to take the time to stop and live! No, my heart did not stop beating, nor did my lungs lack for air. What I mean is that I forgot the purpose of my life. Not just to be a father, husband, employee, student, etc. but more important than that to be a Christian.
We are commanded by the Scriptures to do all that we do to the Glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31). In the Word of God we also find commands to trust, witness, obey, and myriads more. For me the command to trust is the hardest. I am a very independent person. I am, more precisely, a control freak. When things happen I always try to take control. Some people call that leadership, I call it fear. Oh, I am not afraid that terrorists are going to bomb my home town (does Al-Qaida even know where Pembine, WI is?) or that some crazy person is going to walk in off the street and start shooting at me. (I admit these things can and do happen but it is not these things I worry about.) For me it is more about the act of placing trust in Him whom I cannot see.
In the book of John Jesus tells us that those who believe without seeing are blessed (John 20:29). Hebrews 11:1 gives us the definition of faith; “substance of things hoped for, conviction of things not seen.” I am by nature a skeptic. I have a hard time believing things without proof. Yet at the same time I am also a person whose life is based on certain presuppositions such as; that there is a God, that he can be known, that men are born sinners, that the Bible is true, and many more. What I have been asking myself lately is whether these presuppositions are the same as the definition of faith given above. What do you think?
Let me explain why I am asking this of myself. As I stated above I am a control freak. I want to be in charge. This is not about power or position it is about fear. You see, I struggle with anyone else being in control, not because I want their position but because I am afraid that the decisions that they might make may affect me adversely. Admittedly, I have suffered at the hands of some who have made some awful decisions but in most cases those situations were resolved. But you probably figured out by now that I expect humans to be fallible. The problem lies in transferring that expectation to God.
I know that God is not fallible. I know that He is omniscient. But knowing and believing are not one and the same. I know the character of God from a theological perspective. But it is not my knowledge of theology that needs exercise, it is my faith in the God that knowledge represents that needs to be put into action. I mentioned earlier that we are commanded to live in a way that all we do is to God’s glory. What does that have to do with faith? When I doubt I break the commands of Scripture. Christ said, “Let not your heart be troubled,” Paul said, “Be anxious for nothing.” But when I doubt and worry I disobey. And when I disobey I do not bring glory to God.
We are commanded to believe, and given the proof necessary for the foundation faith is built on. The problem lies not in the object of faith, God, but in the mindset of the person believing. For me, that means remembering that God is who HE says HE is. I know I can trust Him; I just have to believe it too. I hope you understand that I am not questioning my Christian faith. I am just recognizing an area where I, too often, fail. As the father of the demon possessed child said, “I do believe, help my unbelief.” (Mark 9:24)